Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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