I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
