I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
