was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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