did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
