I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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