Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
