for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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