do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
