i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
