Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize