So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
