Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
