i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
