Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
