At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
They took my balls.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
