it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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