After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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