Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just puked most of my soul out..
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