So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
