I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
