he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
