that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
