I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
