Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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