Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize