we have officially lost it.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
