The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
