I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
