Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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