it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
