You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
