I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
