This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
