I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
