areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
