I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
