One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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