The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
