so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
