It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
