dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
