just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize