I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize