I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
