how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
sarcasm needs its own font
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
