this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
barbara walters just said penis...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i dont even know how to be here
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
