I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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