If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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