I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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