She is in my trunk
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
