Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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