Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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