I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
