I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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