Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
