forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
