I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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