yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
