I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
